seasons no longer hold their line.

a musical care package from February 2022.

I've lost a lot of sleep to dreams. And it's becoming a daily pain, during the hours I'm supposed to stay awake.

Time doesn't make much sense, still. The pandemic broke my perception of it, the stillness of every passing day being exactly the same as the last, and now it feels like everything still moves in slow-motion while too much still manages to happen all at once.

I could tell you about the past month but I'm not entirely sure how just yet, because the start of it feels ages ago but nothing notable feels like it has happened since then, which is patently and provable false; around two years to the day, the very mild COVID-restrictions we've had in Sweden were completely lifted; things have been slower elsewhere but sports and entertainment are clearly returning to something resembling normalcy as well, meaning plenty of hours spent watching football and burning through TV shows (Hellbound - startling, unnerving, good; Reacher - easy, direct, entertaining; All of Us are Dead - predictable but often harrowing); and the world has changed, violently and unnecessarily and somehow both suddenly and foreseeable, because of warmongers.

You'll find proper, fruitful, coherent, knowledgeable reports about what in the hell the point of Russia invading Ukraine, and - so far and at least partly - failing quite spectacularly, actually is elsewhere - I am not the person to tell you nor is the place for you to find those answers. This is an attempt at a break from existence at large, if anything, for whoever decides to read it at the end or beginning of every month henceforth, but especially for me. I used to be able to track life through music, adding a soundtrack to events big and small, helping me remember them better years later - but that machinery has rusted shut and halted during the pandemic, and I think it's because of the scenery remaining the same for so long that attaching music to certain days just didn't stick. Hopefully, now that we're all trying to return to something like regular life again, I'll get the rust off and get back to weaving music into new memories.

I'll get to TV series at some point, they're intriguing enough to get into a little further. Until then, this is what February sounded like inside of a cold apartment in northwestern Stockholm, picked up playing over Instagram Reels and the Apple Music For You tab and soundtracks for Netflix movies and Turkish cult TV series - among other places.